Brief Banter By Ben

As if we didn't have enough patching emergencies to deal with this week, a recent update of AVG's antivirus software knocked out some people's Internet connection. AVG's support page indicates that after upgrading to AVG version 8.0.196, your network link may fail.

If rebooting your PC doesn't fix the problem, follow the instructions on AVG's support page to download the fixfiles.zip file to your computer. Double-click the .zip file to open it, and then double-click fixfiles.exe in the resulting folder to run the utility.

If the glitch persists, the company recommends that you run a repair installation of your AVG app. If reinstalling your antivirus software doesn't get you back online, AVG advises that you contact the company's support desk for further instructions.

I became aware of the AVG update glitch when the program began to interfere with the collection and distribution of e-mail on my Small Business Server 2003 test system.

The latest Internet threat cloaks Web links so a wayward click can download malware to your PC without your knowledge.

What's worse, all browsers and other Web software are susceptible to clickjacking, but you can take steps to reduce the risk.

Clickjacking allows an attacker to use one or more of several new attack scenarios to literally steal your mouse clicks. When you think you're clicking on a simple button — for example, to see the next page of an article — you may actually be giving the bad guys permission to do something entirely different, such as log on to your online checking account.

By taking advantage of any of a growing number of recently discovered vulnerabilities in Microsoft's Internet Explorer, Mozilla's Firefox, Apple's Safari, and all other Web browsers, criminals can hijack your system by intercepting clicks of what appear to be legitimate links.

The problem doesn't stop there, however. At least some of the flaws that make clickjacking possible also show up in such popular Web tools as Adobe's Flash player and Microsoft's Silverlight streaming-media plug-in.

"If they can control where your clicks are going, they may be able to get a user to reconfigure the system so they disable security," Ed Skoudis, a security instructor for the SANS Institute, told Windows Secrets. Skoudis is also co-founder of the security firm InGuardians.

Disguised links lurk behind clickable buttons

In clickjacking, surreptitious buttons are "floated" behind the actual buttons that you see on a Web site. When you click the button, you're not triggering the function that you expected. Instead, the click is routed to the bad guy's substitute link.

Robert Hansen, CEO of SecTheory, and Jeremiah Grossman, chief technology officer of WhiteHat Security, are the bug sleuths who discovered this latest generation of potential security glitches.

They point out that even users who watch their systems like a hawk can be victimized.

"There's really no way to know if what you're looking at is real," Hansen told Windows Secrets.

In fact, Hansen and Grossman found so many new ways to attack your PC — and your Mac — that they categorize these threats as a "new class" of exploits. While this class includes scripting attacks, it also affects scriptable plug-ins such as Microsoft ActiveX controls, Skoudis said.

Clickjacking isn't new. In fact, it dates back to at least 2002, Hansen said. What's new is the range of browser vulnerabilities that make clickjacking possible.

Hansen's blog posting describes the scope most clearly:

"There are multiple variants of clickjacking. Some of it requires cross domain access, some doesn't. Some overlay entire pages over a page, some use iFrames to get you to click on one spot. Some require JavaScript, some don't. Some variants use CSRF [Cross-Site Request Forging] to pre-load data in forms, some don't. Clickjacking does not cover any one of these use cases, but rather all of them."

This doesn't mean there are no protections, however. In fact, one of the most important steps that users can take to protect themselves is to enable JavaScript only for approved sites.

Disabling JavaScript has serious drawbacks, because so much of the Web's interactivity is driven by JavaScript apps.

"[Disabling JavaScript] totally cripples the Web experience," Skoudis said.

In addition, Hansen states, even browsing with JavaScript disabled will not protect against all possible avenues of attack.

"Most browsers are going to be vulnerable," Hansen told Windows Secrets. Even the new version 8 of Internet Explorer, currently in beta, is susceptible — though Hansen said he expects Microsoft's upcoming browser to be patched by the time it's released later this year.

Japanese banks struggling too..........

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut back the number of branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
10. What is the speed of darkness?
11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics?
12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
17. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide , is it a hostage situation?
18. Can you cry under water?
19. What level of importance must a person have , before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?
23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
26. Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only..Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 8 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

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A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Send this to all the smart women you know... and all the men that have a sense of humor.