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17 April 2009

Irish Medical Dictionary (via Simon @ UKP) 



Artery.......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die.
Benign..........................What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section..........A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic............................. A sheep dog.
Coma............................ A punctuation mark.
Dilate........................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula........................... A small lie.
Impotent...................... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node............................. I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis............................ Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative............... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.............. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure......................... Roman emperor.
Tablet........................... A small table.
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour......................... One plus one more.
Urine............................ Opposite of you're out.
2xCondoms....................To be sure, to be sure



11 April 2009

A recent trip to Hereford 


Photos of a recent trip to Hereford


Conficker botnet stirs, with a scareware business model (Copyright ZDNet) 


The Conficker botnet has stirred to life, using its peer-to-peer communication system to update itself and download scareware (fake anti-virus programs) to millions of infected Windows machines.

The Conficker update comes a week after a heavily-hyped April 1st activation date and provides the first sign of the motivation behind this malware threat — financially motivated cybercrime.

Full Conficker Article

Conficker Removal Tool


01 April 2009

The “no bull” guide to Conficker by Adrian Kingsley-Hughes (Copyright ZDNet) 


I usually have a pretty good idea of how widespread a particular piece of malware is by the number of incidents of infection (or reports of infection) that I come across. But when it comes to the Conficker worm (aka Downadup or Kido), I get the feeling that while there’s a lot of hype surrounding this latest bit of malware, actual infections are much lower than some would want you to believe. However, over the past few days the number of enquires I’m getting in relation to Conficker has skyrocketed, so to try to answer people’s questions, and calm people’s fears, I’ve put together a quick “no bull” guide to Conficker.

Some antivirus companies love to hype malware because it’s a great way to sell security products. While Conficker isn’t new (it’s been around since November last year), the April 1st trigger date gives security firms the opportunity to ratchet up the hype a couple of more notches (and help drive concerned users straight into the hands of cybercriminals). However, it’s important to note that it’s unclear right now as to what will happen come the trigger date. However, what is clear is that you will need to be infected to be at risk of anything happening at all.


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