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17 April 2009

Irish Medical Dictionary (via Simon @ UKP) 



Artery.......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die.
Benign..........................What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section..........A neighbourhood in Rome .
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic............................. A sheep dog.
Coma............................ A punctuation mark.
Dilate........................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula........................... A small lie.
Impotent...................... Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node............................. I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis............................ Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative............... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.............. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure......................... Roman emperor.
Tablet........................... A small table.
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour......................... One plus one more.
Urine............................ Opposite of you're out.
2xCondoms....................To be sure, to be sure



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