Brief Banter By Ben

INGREDIENTS
1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup of white granulated sugar
1 tsp. Table Salt
1 cup of brown demerara sugar
juice of 1 large lemon
4 large free range eggs
mixed nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
2 x 1 litre bottles of good quality Whisky

METHOD
Sample the Whisky to test quality. Take a large mixing bowl, check the
Whisky again. To be absolutely sure of Whisky quality, pour one level
cup full and drink down in one. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one
cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat, make
sure the Whisky is still OK. Try another cup full. Turn off the mixerer,
break two leggs, add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the
turner. (If the fried druit gets stuck in the mixerer beatrerers, pry it
loose with a drewscriver). Sample the scotch for tonsiticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt, or something, who giveshz a monkies anyhow? Check the scotch,
sift the lemon juice and strain your nutsh. Add one table. Add whatever you
can find in the cupboard, greash the oven and pish in the fridge. Turn the
cake tin 360 defrees, don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl
out of the flipping window, chech the scotch bottle until empaty, pish off to
bed.

And a Crappy Isthmus to you all.