04 August 2004

The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. 

The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's "Work for the Dole" scheme and employ Liverpudlians. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment,whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by the Ferrari management but as most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouser pit crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the vehicle over to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a kilogram of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower."

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