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12 August 2005

English Hospitality (via John Linnell) 


An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.


After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all no public toilets.


He really, really has to go, especially after drinking all those pints of Guinness. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.


As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."


"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."


"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a delivery gate in a back alley, which he opens.


"In there," points the bobby. "Relieve away sir, anywhere you like."


The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.


Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"


"No sir...", replied the bobby, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."

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