Brief Banter By Ben

Wit and Wisdom from "Larry The Cable Guy" --

        1. A day without sunshine is like night.

        2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

        3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

        4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

        5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

        6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

        7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

        8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
            cheese in the trap.

        9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

        10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

        11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

        12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

        13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

        15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

        16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

        17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

        18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

        19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

        20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

        21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the
             hell happened?"

        22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

        23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
             bright until you hear them speak.

        24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of
             jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.